F**k Manifesting

Why the popular approach that keeps your desires just out of reach is great for the gurus — but not so good for you

“I remember when I first read about manifesting and I thought I’d have my Ferrari, mansion and millions by Friday,” said Brett, who first read about manifesting twenty years ago. “And I’m still waiting.”

“Now I think it’s all a money making thing for the teachers,” he adds, “and I’ve given up on it. I always thought that my stuff would come next week but then I realised it’s not coming.”

I hear this a lot. When I first started my Processes Group in London, which was a group where we got together to discuss the latest personal development ideas — I met many people like Brett.

They would diligently follow the latest rules for life that they’d heard the latest popular teacher saying. It could be repeating what they want over and over again “I am rich, I am rich, I am rich,” desperately saying words to try to magic up what they wanted. Or they might pretend to be rich by maxing out on credit cards for regular dinners at some restaurant they’d read was where the rich and famous go, to try to trick the Universe into thinking they too were a rich celebrity.

When it didn’t work, they figured out a new secret reason to why they weren’t successful — maybe it was their subconscious blocks? maybe it was the negative influence of people around them? They’d move from breath work to affirmations — from crystals to A Course in Miracles. Some spent thousands on workshops and online subscriptions, often going into debt and assured by the course leader that if they spent big they’d reap big returns tomorrow through the Law of Attraction. Except tomorrow, as they say, never came.

Now of course it’s even worse, with thousands of people on TikTok also claiming to know the secret. Thousands more opportunities to go down the wrong path. No wonder people give up.

But you don’t want to do that.

There comes a time when you get that it’s time to pause and reflect. I wanted to get to the truth (if there was one) behind the idea that we can somehow influence our reality with our mind.

When you really understand manifesting, and the idea that Life mirrors back our self-worth — you can see that the way most people to do it is a constant affirmation that they are not where they want to be whilst wishing they were there. They might attract new “teachings” or quotes — all signs that they are not where they want to be but wishing they were. See how it works? The very manifesting practices they are doing are simply manifesting more of the same for them. They are constantly on their way to their dreams and that’s what they manifest: a constant state of being on their way and they never quite get there. It’s a carrot-on-a-stick approach.

When I researched, I realised that the lives of some of those manifesting teachers people looked up to weren’t quite what you’d expect either. And many of them were just repeating unproven ideas from the last generation creating another generation of unsatisfied fans and followers.

I met many modern teachers also, some of whom would later come to me for guidance — even though they had already written their “how to get everything you want” type book. I’d ask one particular author what they were looking for from me when they seemingly had the secret already and the answer was telling: “Because it doesn’t work. It sells really well but it doesn’t work,” this person laughed, as I explained that I had seen so many people from my groups following this person’s work to a t and getting nowhere, too. I wasn’t laughing. I’d hoped he’d make the changes to his top selling work — but he didn’t.

So f*ck manifesting, yes. But also give it another go.

I threw away those three-steps-to-manifest type books we’ve all read and in doing so I got myself out of a depression, landed my dream job, improved my relationships. I had changed my mindset for the better and yes, my life had changed for the better too. So I was determined to find out a non-nonsense practical way to apply how it all works firstly for myself and then for my followers. And that’s what I did. To be continued…

Michael James is the author of Feel Better, No Matter What — a book that absolutely does not use the words “Law of Attraction” and is available now from Watkins Publishing. http://instagram.com/michaeljamesbe/